Welp, here we go again. Another shitpost with a title that screams that the author lacks originality when it comes to giving titles. Deal with it m8, I’m not in any way talented when it comes to writing. I believe my so called skills have deteriorated after getting out of high school.
Anyway, back to the topic.
If this is the first time you see this kind of post then I would like to let you know that this kind of post is a part of my “Valentine’s Day” series where I
rant my frustrations out recount my thoughts and experiences regarding the event and my recent experiences regarding my “love life”.
Omg gross I almost threw up. Never mentioning that word again.
I doubt u bitches care about that word I just mentioned, but please learn how to deal with it.
So… where were we? The part where I tell everyone how my day went? Okay, let’s just put it like this;
It went pretty fine actually, but I haven’t went out with the girl that I initially wanted to go out with.
Sad, right? How did this happen? Lemme try to recount some things that happened. I’ll try my best to tell everything even though some, if not all ungrateful mongrels don’t even wanna hear it.
Umm… let’s introduce her I guess? Let’s call her “December girl” as her nickname also starts with “D” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), derived from her real second name 🙂
How did we meet? I doubt it’s relevant but we were classmates in all of my courses (subjects). How is my luck that gud? Welp, I only took 2 courses that term :p . Those courses are calculus II and something about engineering material processing and testing? I only knew them by course code but I won’t mention it as someone I knew irl may stumble upon this post.
However, I didn’t noticed that she’s also in my math class till we’re 2 or 3 weeks close to the end of our term, which means we’re 70~80% done with our term so my chances of getting to really know her was slim af. I only noticed that she was in my material testing class but that class only occurs once a week in a 7.5 hour class+laboratory stuff. She was one of my group mates, 1 out of 8(?) people in the group. Plus her group of friends are in the same group while I’m in my own circle as well so we didn’t really have the chance to talk.
At one point we were assigned into group of two’s to make a presentation. Unfortunately, I wasn’t paired with her but my partner and I were scheduled to present on the same day as her and her partner (her partner happens to be a close friend of mine). What’s the significance of what I just mentioned?
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Okay I was just kidding. As if we have such feature where I would get paid ToT
Don’t worry, he’ll play a role later 😉
Fast forward to the end of November, where we were scheduled to present. My partner and I presented before theirs so we finished early which means I get to chill at the back of the room and “listen” to the rest of the presenters. Welp, when her and my friend came up to present, I dozed off as soon as she started
It’s not like I was being disrespectful (only) to her. I also dozed off while other people, including my friends take their turn discussing stuff I can’t even remember. RIP to whichever subject this course is a pre-requisite.
When they were done, just like us, they proceeded to the back of the room to “listen”. However, just like my friends and I, others just settled at the back to talk “quietly” or use their phones. December girl sat alone, away from her group of friends (who were actually listening) and decided to use her phone. For some reason, I repeatedly glimpsed at her and this time, I noticed that she was indeed quite cute ❤ . I say this due to the fact that I do sometimes glimpse at her and “had a feeling” she’s cute.
However, that time, I only knew that we only meet once a week, meaning I didn’t have the chance to get to know her better. Upon realizing that, I dropped the idea of asking her out.
Welp, plans changed after a few days . I was in my calculus class, where my mind is elsewhere. While the professor was discussing something on the board, a silhouette has caught my attention near the part where the professor was discussing. A familiar woman wearing an awfully familiar dark green sweater. Is that her? At that time, my curiosity got ahead of me so I checked the class roster online while the professor was discussing. I clicked the link to the list of students shown, scrolled down…
Shit. It was her indeed.
How the hell could I not noticed? Tbh, I asked myself the same question, but I may know the answer. It’s because of our alphabetical seating arrangement. She sat on the first row, leftmost side of the room, while I sat on the second row, rightmost side of the room.
Back then, I wasn’t sure if I should have thank or curse destiny but oh well, shit happens.
After knowing this, I texted my pal (her partner in presentations) that I was surprised she’s in my class.
And I admitted how cute she is…
Idk what made me say that but I’m pretty sure he rofl’ed irl. The faggot even joked about telling her. I knew it was a joke but there’s a pretty high chance he would sell me out so I was quite worried.
Eventually, December came. I never had the plan to talk to her until the 4th of December came. We were given some sort of a homework that time, based on our last one. Unfortunately (or fortunately), I lost the question and so did my buddy in that class so I was in a pinch. That’s when I remembered I could have the question from December girl.
But how can I get in touch with her? Use her partner! I just can’t send her a message after not accepting my friend request from a long time ago, when we were totally strangers to each other. Who knows if she still considers me as a stranger?
I sent a text to my pal to ask him to get the questions from her. Fortunately, she still had them but it wasn’t clear whether it was the correct question so we were somehow talking through my pal/her partner. Eventually, he got “frustrated” and decided to create a group chat for us three then fucking left the group so we were the only two left in the “group chat”.
I asked him wtf was he thinking but he just replied that he thinks if we better talk to each other directly to make things less complicated.
Doe I’m pretty sure he just wants to mock me. Motherfucker.
Welp, December Girl and I talked directly, got the questions, said thanks and went off our ways. So plain huh?
If that’s how she wants to interact with me, it’s fine. We’re pretty much a stranger to each other so it’s no biggie.
Proceeding to the next day, 5th of December. I was minding my business with my mind elsewhere, looking around the classroom when I caught her staring at me or at least my direction while her face is looking down as if she’s examining me. At that time, I was expecting her to be glued to her phone as always so I was intrigued. I was also aware that I may be having too many quick glimpses at her “direction”.
Later that day, the professor gave another problem to solve so I thought I’ll test the waters just in case she thought I was a creep. If she does, she would have seenzoned/blocked/not read or reply to my messages. Besides, I needed to know how the problem should be done :p . I texted her on the way home and fortunately, she replied regarding my inquiry. At that point, based on the way she replies, she was still quite hesitant when it comes to replying.
Eventually, the 6th of December arrived. At this point, I still chat her up regarding schoolwork and based on the way she replies, she’s more opened now to the stranger she just “met”, compared to the past few days. At some point, I added her and she accepts.
I was quite surprised that she decided to talk more. This continues for weeks of us helping each other regarding schoolwork. That time, I was quite hesitant to try to get to know her personally as she may think that I have a motive (Although I think trying to ask her out is already my motive ).
I do admit that I like the idea of asking her out so I was considering of doing it. However, something made me reconsider it. One time when my friends and I were hanging out outside the campus (I had a few hours gap between my two subs), one of my friends, specifically December girl’s partner mentioned that ” was waiting for me”.
…This is what I was worried about. I so knew that kid was gonna tease me in front of someone.
At that point, we discovered my other friend turned out to be one of her close(r) friends. Good fucking job huh.
Oh well, she was our topic for the time being. At one point, her close friend mentioned that she may have a boyfriend.
So…there goes my plan huh? Nope. I somehow hanged on the word “may”, hoping that she’s still available.
Only one way to find out.
Days passed and both of us still talk and help each other regarding…err…school stuff. At this point, she’s more opened to friendly talks. Eventually, the exam week came and went but we still talked to each other even if the exam’s done mostly due to the fact that we still have a project to be done on my math course.
One of the needed requirements to go along with the project was to print our record/scores of our online activities. Seeing this as a chance to thank her for the help she gave the past few weeks, I chat her up to offer that I would print our records. However she declined, reason being that she already has a printer at home. I asked her to print mine as a joke but she agreed right away. I told her it was a joke, but she said it was fine. I then gave her my not-so-good-looking scores, asked her to ignore my scores, said my thanks and told her that I would pay for it the next day. She declined.
Damn why does she have to be such an angel? I think her I fell for her due to her kindness huh.
At this point, I saw a chance. A chance to know whether she’s already taken, so I did it in a subtle (enough) way.
Okay, I didn’t ask her like that, although I kind of want to as I really want to know if she’s already taken.
But nah, I just complimented her by saying she’s such a kind person, and her boyfriend is lucky to have her.
Welp, she said he was indeed lucky. (Oh shit, she has one.)
But he was an idiot.
I joked that I take back what I said about her being so kind and that she was harsh but she mentioned she just said that because he cheated on her.
I then replied that nvm, he did deserve being called that way. At this point, I couldn’t believe how a lucky fucker could let such woman go. Oh well, I told her I wish both of them luck that they mend their relationship but she replied that she just hopes that he’s happy. At that point, idk if she already let him go but I considered it to be that.
We then had a discussion about how being too kind can take a toll on someone. Looking back, it was one of the nicest conversation I had, not because I was talking to the person I liked, but due to the fact that I get how she felt.
You see, when I get serious on relationships, I get to be an angel. However, just like her, being an angel has its cons so I sometimes tend to deviate towards the dark side. You know what happens when someone does that.
Oh well, I decided that I would try asking her out soon as she seems available.
The day came where we personally submit our project plus other requirements to our professor. I first tried to find the room where the professor was but I couldn’t find it so I just met up with December girl in the library to get my ugly results in a paper ToT . Once again, I ask her how much should I pay her, but she said it’s all good.
Tbh, I wanna give her something that time. Pretty sure she would decline but I would like to show my appreciation.
I planned to sit and talk to her but the library was jam packed so I had to sit somewhere else. Talk about my luck.
Since I was far away, I decided to just chat her up and we agreed to submit our stuff together with her friend and mine so we have to wait a bit for her friend to finish doing her project at the last minute. However at one point she chatted me that they already found the room where the prof’s at and that they already submitted their stuff. I joked that she purposely didn’t let us tag along and she apologized as she said they were just looking for the professor and found her anyway so they just submitted their requirements.
If you ask me, I kind of felt a red flag was raised based on the way she sounded over chat.
Nevertheless, I brushed it off and just proceeded to the room she mentioned to submit our requirements.
I continued to chat her up during the rest of the day, but she seemed to chat less than before, as if she’s no longer opening up. I asked where she was as I would like to talk to her personally as I was going for “the plan” but she replied that she’s already on her way out. Take note that I only asked where she was.
I asked her what route she takes going home and she replied the route and it was completely opposite from mine. I then asked her which stop she waits for her mode of transportation as I want to walk with her to the stop not just because I wanted to talk to her, but because by the time I was leaving, a person who I was avoiding was in the area near our campus.
Oh well, she replied that her pal bought a car. At that point, I was 40% sure a red flag was raised.
I went home, a bit disappointed of my luck. I still chat her up on the way back but her replies seems like she wasn’t interested in talking. When I arrived to our condo, I hanged out in the lobby of a different tower for some reason to think of my next move.
I know it sounds lame, but I decided to at least attempt to invite her out for coffee, movie…anything would do. Though this time, I tried to do it online as I didn’t have the chance to do it personally.
After her last uninterested-looking reply, I decided to do it. I literally told her that I thank her for everything that she has done for me and that I would like to “return the favor” when she’s free.
After a while, I got seenzoned. I wasn’t surprised as she has a habit of doing that and reply after a few hours so I played the waiting game while sending another query regarding our partial results.
She did reply after a few hours. She replied that it’s fine even if I don’t do that (return the favor), along with the answer regarding my inquiry. However, she sent it in one reply.
Like her other messages that day, this really gave the feeling that she was uninterested. However, I shrugged it off and replied the following;
“It’s ok, I insist that I wish to treat you.”
“Besides, I want to get to know you better.”
“Unless someone would get mad, then you may decline haha”
Welp, I haven’t gotten a reply after that. Only a seen after 2 or 3 days.
Before getting seenzoned, I still sent her some irrelevant stuff. When I noticed she’s seenzoned my message, I sent her a message after a few days asking about our ugly results when I noticed that our results are already out.
Still no reply, not even a seenzone.
At that point, I stopped chatting her. I figured it was about time to give up anyway. I never knew the reason why she just have to stop replying and leave me hanging. I wasn’t about to ask her for the reason.
She could have just declined one more time, with or without a reason and I would stop asking.
But nah, she just have to leave me hanging.
Perhaps once again, she’s just being too kind and thought eventually “rejecting” me would be too mean of her. Guess what? Getting the silent treatment is worse than being rejected. It leaves the person thinking if they had done something wrong. They won’t know if they’re waiting for something or nothing at all. They won’t know if the woman is playing hard to get or just busy for real. If it’s the former, take note that guys also have limits. Don’t feel like you’re the only woman in the world. If they want to date someone else, simultaneous with you or not, they’ll do it.
If you like a guy then take it easy on him. If you don’t then say so. It’s that simple. Silence would only make them frustrated and looking desperate.
Excuse me for lecturing people. I believe my emotions got ahead of me and vented it out.
Doe now that I think about it, she may have other reasons. It’s either she considered fixing their relationship, her bf got back to her, already fixed their relationship or living by the “three-month rule”. If I were to guess from these three, I think it’s the latter. To those who don’t know about that pathetic rule, Just google it as I don’t want to explain what is it about.
Imo, it’s pretty pathetic. Date who and when you want. I myself don’t follow that rule. We live in a free world and disobeying that rule won’t lead to anarchy. Basically, that rule is just an option and should only be considered as such.
Having this experience made me realized something. I read a quote by someone, saying;
“Falling for a broken & depressed person is harder than falling for someone who just doesn’t like you. The issue with the latter is easier to understand compared to the former. It’s like forcing yourself on someone that you would take a bullet for, but just doesn’t wanna to be saved.” (credits to the owner)
I realized this problem right after reading this.
Coz I COULD FUCKING RELATE TO IT.
Or maybe perhaps she really is just uninterested. If that’s the case, she should at least tell the me.
Oh well, that’s that. She never bothered, I gave up. Nice knowing her.
The last message I sent her was on the 25th of December where I just said hi and greeted her happy holidays.
I kinda regret sending it for some reason and I sent it, knowing that she won’t even reply.
Although now that I think about it, this may have happened due to bad karma. A few years ago, specifically when I was on my first year of college, I frequently chatted a female classmate of mine on two courses, whom I’m interested into. However, this only went on for the whole term. After that, I stopped talking to her. Idk why I stopped but iirc there wasn’t really anything to talk about. I knew I was interested but idk why I didn’t bother continuing our conversations or even ask her out.
Tbh she sounds more interested than December girl and opened up quicker than her.
If that’s the reason then fuck, I would like to apologize to her, if ever her feelings were hurt.
Tbf, I didn’t tell her that I liked her. Doe I admit that I gave some hints.
Still doe, I hope she wasn’t hurt or anything.
At the moment I’m keeping my doors open.
If there’s any open then I’ll try to enter ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Oh gawd that sounded so wrong.
Oh well, I’m over it. I just believe that if things don’t work out, maybe I just don’t deserve it or something better is about to come along. (c) to the owner
So…. I guess this became a very long post, if not the longest one I had? Sorry for that.
Now that I explained how my day went along with its reason, let’s proceed to the anime recommendation for this event.
I recently watched
Belend-S Blend-S. Its’ genre is Slice of Life with a bit of romcom mixed with it. It was pretty hilarious, one of my most recommended SOL animes. Below are some screenshots I took.
Dammit Akizuki you lucky virgin bastard!!
Ugh I just wanna grope kaho‘s T&A’s TuT
I was supposed to include a bunch of photos like any other valentine’s day post but I’m too tired after writing this post.
Umm….about the H recommendation, I wasn’t planning to include any this time as the one in my mind involves Hiten‘s works which may be cosidered taboo by some (depending on his work) but I found one at least worth recommending, though it’s not from Hiten. I haven’t read it many times but it’s called….
| Houkago Present |
This time, I haven’t uploaded it on a hosting site, but at least you can read it online. Heck, you could even download it from that site 😀
Welp, even doe my recommendation this time was half-assed at least I tried right?
And at least it can be considered as vanilla right?
Shit, that reminds me I need a vanilla/cream flavored vape e-juice soon -_-
This time, it isn’t as rare as last year. I could find it available in at least 3 stores.
And yep, they’re being continuously replaced in my stash :3
Atm, I’m not worried of it going rare anytime soon but better to hoard them than use other brands right?
Oh well, I have very important matters to attend to tomorrow, so I’ll end it here.
Enjoy your night, till then, bibi^^